I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
