What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
