Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
