Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
