..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
