Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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