Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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