do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
