I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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