Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
