He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
