I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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