just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
