she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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