This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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