i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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