we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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