just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
