I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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