Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
