Non-Jews are for practice
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
