I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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