I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
