if only i could text you this smell
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
