I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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