You made me cry and you don't even care
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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