You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
