'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
