u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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