he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
