You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize