Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
As shirtless as possible
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
