TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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