and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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