Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The air was thick with penises
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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