i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize