Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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