Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
