we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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