I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm both gender and math confused
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