I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
