I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
