if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
