Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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