If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
