So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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