I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
