Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
