ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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