M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
