Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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