her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you mean i was at the winter classic?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
