i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
