Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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