all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
