I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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