i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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