He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm really busy with my period
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